Seeking an internet interpreter to explain memes via PowerPoint to our esteemed executives. Start date? Yesterday.
We have an immediate opening at Goldman Sachs for a qualified financial-meme translator.
In light of recent market movements caused by the highly unethical collusion of malicious dilettante traders, Goldman Sachs is now hiring a Meme Analyst to analyze financial meme trends, track Reddit market sentiments, and explain what memes mean when our busy executives are unable to successfully Google them.
The right candidate will have a minimum of five years of experience in digital-visual vernacular.
Content creation and fluency a must — applicants must possess the ability to quickly summarize trending concepts into PowerPoints for seasoned executives who might…
You lose a lot of credibility when your Instagram post confuses the words of Mr. Rogers and Malcolm X
Imagine giving a PowerPoint presentation to a room full of professionals in your industry.
You’re using this event to announce your consultation business and to establish yourself as an expert in the field.
You’re nervous, so you plan the first slide to break the ice —a picture of a femur with a healed fracture flashes across the screen.
“Margaret Mead, the famous anthropologist, once said that the earliest sign of civilization found at archeology sites is a healed femur,” you say.
“The femur is an indication that other members had fed and cared for one of their own until an…
Musk’s caption read, “Now, this is the true spirit of entrepreneurship”
Joe and José had been looking forward to Thursday for weeks. Their parents had helped them build a wooden lemonade stand and they had finally perfected their recipe. They couldn’t have predicted the horrifying results of their efforts.
That day, after visiting his plant in Fremont, California, Elon Musk drove through Newark, a suburban neighborhood between San Francisco and San Jose. He saw the lemonade stand by the side of the road and stopped to buy a glass.
“The boys didn’t know who he was,” Mrs. Rodreigez told reporters. “But we did. I mean me, my husband, and Joe’s Moms…
A Dog Named Karma Comic #7
Click for the first comic, or for the comic before this one.
Words spoken out loud appear within white bubbles. I’m including the full text of the dialog for the visually impaired.
Author notes at the end of the work.
When Frieda enters the office she shares with three other grad student T.A.s, her friend Janet cries out:
A few things you should know, and a comic to soften the blow
The 4th Amendment protects citizens from search and seizure, and is usually the portion of the Constitution cited to protect privacy. However, because private companies don’t need a subpoena to record your voice or face… getting information from professional databrokers has become a loophole for law enforcement.
Topical further reading:
Start with Comic #1, titled “Beware The Magic 2020 Ball”
Text with bubbles are said aloud, text on purple is an unspoken thought. Additional author notes at the end.
December 15, 2019 — Talako and Frieda visit the city to meet her Psychic:
Comic #6 of A Dog Named Karma
Click for the first comic, or for the comic before this one.
Words spoken out loud appear within white bubbles. The fainter white bubble in the second panel is meant to denote whispering, but is low contrast, so I’m including the full text of the dialog for the visually impaired.
Author notes at the end of the work.
It’s still December, 2019 —
Our awkward duo is rapidly approaching Frieda’s dormitory, and therefore, the end of their outing:
Talako: “A farmer’s market? How did — Did they just walk up and predict your future?”
Frieda: “Um, well, I was pretty stunned by how much they could see. Heh.”
Earn karma, fond memories, and the warm fuzzies of doing a good deed — while staying 6 feet apart
Good intentions are useless until they’re expressed in appropriate action.
— Napoleon Hill, 1937
I think about this quote a lot while I scroll through Instagram.
So many of my friends are talking about gratitude these days. They have pictures of them in Thailand, grateful for past travel, they post selfies on the beach, #blessed.
Meanwhile, my friends in the Peace Corps, my friends who are nurses and doctors and up to their elbows in stress — they don’t post anymore.
And me? I’m somewhere in between, not exactly stocking up on Hepatitis vaccinations or antimalarials to spend years on…
